I have completed my 2nd full week! And I’m having success. I can’t quite believe it… But I’m feeling really good about this. It is new and different. But that’s how I’m feeling tonight.
Egaaads…. But this weekend… And this morning for that matter it was a different story.
Faced with the expanse of time ahead of me and frought with the usual temptations (Robin had a gig last night – Wine and Chocolate).
Food is everywhere. Of course it is, without food, we’d all perish. So naturally it’s a huge part of our existence. In fact, I spent this weekend cooking for my Beloved as well. True to form, in an effort to support me, he’s eating less and has dropped some weight!
I love to cook. I absolutely enjoy meal preparation, meal planning and execution. My favorite thing to make are dumplings. I love mixing up pork and turkey, spicing it up with yummy chineeeesy/asion’y spices, chopping up the green onions and bok choi. I then get the utmost joy out of spooning in the filling into the little shells. I love it!
Of course, having just one would be an automatic RED CARD! And therein lies the rub. But it’s not such a bad rub after all, really. Home cooked meals have been uber important to us this past year or so. We learned how to cook Pha Ba, Indian Curry, and have figured out that roasting veggies is the best. We really enjoy cooking and generally cook Sunday’s for the upcoming week. So, that’s just what we did this weekend. It was awesome and my hubby will have good food to eat.
So, what made it hard? Why those allusions to “failure”. That’s just it. I am terrified of failure. I really don’t want to fail, yet in all, my expert and devious mind started rationalizing and thinking of a way to some-how enjoy one. Just the one. Because I do love to eat the food I cook. I also like it when other people eat my cooking too. That’s pretty rewarding as well.
But that would be the road to going where I’ve been. And I caught myself. I didn’t get lost in the oh, well… I can always start again. Rather I had a chance to think about the right choice. And I don’t want to start over. I do not want to lose momentum. That thought actually pulled me through. Pulled me through and it’s now the end of the day and I am super happy I got here.
I did not have just the one… And for that, my fear of failure is lessened and the day is a good day. A good weekend. By the way, if you want to see part of my hubby’s gig, head over to the Facebook and check his page out, The Gravity Quartet. It was an amazing show.