The Chinese New year was on 2/16/18. It’s the year of the Dog. I sit here, a year later, having embarked on a journey to become heart healthy in my 50th calendar birth year. I had some success. Down 25 pounds. Will admit got 10 of it back over the last 8 months… and am faced with the daunting idea that I have not overcome habits, or my “food addiction” or what have you.
But I have learned so much about myself this past year. I’ve learned that I can be successful. And I’ve started to learn how to not degrade, nor denigrate myself in my head. I think that’s the hardest part. I know that I don’t learn by humiliation, so I wondered why I continued to silently degrade, or talk sternly or what have you, to me.
Of all people, I should be the one championing my abilities. My Will and desire and need to just lose weight.
I’m learning to have patience with myself. And perhaps in so doing, I’ll figure out how to have patience with others when tried to the fullest. I’ll from the heart truly engage with another and accept a person when they’re down… that part is easy, for helping a person in need, or feeling empathy for another plight and misfortune is easy. It’s not so easy when I do not agree with what I see, when I’m thinking that the person’s moral compass is non-existent or if I’m feeling judged unfairly.
Yeah, it’s super easy to accept those who are really putting an effort out there, those who have put their ego and self preservation on the line – you know, those making an actual difference. So easy to be a part of the choir on something like that.
Not so easy when I’m at the focal point of some backlash, or mis-understanding. I’m still working on being accepting of shitpans and those with such arrogant agendas and narcissistic means to ends. Not so sure that I’ll be as benevolent in thought as a Saint would be, or JC (Joseph Campbell who suggests we “just say Yes”)… but I’ll do my very best to at least channel the Rio and smile and just observe!
And as the faithful Dog serves it’s Master, when it comes to loyalty to the Human Race, I will trust and wait and serve in humility…